You are living the dream life, it just might not be yours. Reflecting on who may be dreaming of your life can help put things into perspective. Here’s how:
People often dream of living another person’s life. “If only I had their job, their house, their family, then I would be happy and living my dream life” But this is thinking of it backwards.
Consider instead the people that find your life the dream life. This can be a strange thought to have. You might feel that you don’t enjoy your life, so who would possibly want to step into your shoes?
The answer? Many, many people. Think of places without medicine, running or clean water, working manual labour for almost no money each day. Travelling to or researching impoverished places can help put things into perspective.
Think also of people from the past, perhaps your own ancestors, who didn’t have all of the things you have. They couldn’t travel, call their friends and family, or find hope in medical care.
We can also consider people closer to home, who may not have all of the same privileges. Dreamers of our lives can be found all over the place, people in worse situations than our own.
So why can life feel so unfulfilling? So dissatisfactory that we dream of living someone else’s life? The answer may be related to the gap theory of happiness. The idea that unhappiness comes from a gap between what you have and what you want.
People think that working harder and more can close the gap, achieving their dreams, but there will always be another gap. Instead, consider the trans life meditation practice.
Similar to the last time meditation and negative visualization, the trans life meditation applies the Stoic concept of practicing to be satisfied with what you already have. Close the gap by removing it rather than filling it.
In a trans life meditation, put yourself into the shoes of someone in the world that would dream of having your life. It may help to research places in the world that are more impoverished than your own, or travelling to them.
This way of thinking can help put things into perspective, making you feel more accepting of your own life. At least, for a short period of time. The effects of this shift in perspective fades quickly.
Life’s setbacks can make it feel as though we don’t have control. Happiness becomes relative to what happens on a day to day basis and how in control we are. To help, we can develop anchors to ground and stabilize us despite life’s setbacks, keeping things in perspective.
Like the last time and negative visualization meditations, the trans life meditation can be practiced on a regular basis to help remind us of how good life actually is, relative to so many people in the world.
Grounding yourself in this anchor of being content with what you already have is humbling and can help with improving satisfaction in life.
This is not to say that we shouldn’t dream, but that sometimes it is helpful to consider our day to day lives and how they fit into the grand scheme of modern reality. Dreams should motivate you, not make you feel worse about where you are at right now.
Who would dream of living your life?
If you found this helpful or interesting, I would love to hear your thoughts! The more we learn how this practice helps each of us, the more we can collectively improve. Please feel free to leave questions or comments below.
Continue reading about the stoic path with: (coming soon).
Find the full list of mindful thoughts here.
